Jadrian's Story

In Loving  Memory of our sweet son, Jadrian Gunnar.
Born January 24, 2009. A Precious Gem whose short life impacted us for a lifetime!

Jadrian was born on January 24, 2009, 11 months after our family moved here to Northern New York from Ohio.  When he started having difficulty eating and breathing after a few days at home, he was rushed to University Hospital in Syracuse where he was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS); a congenital heart disease where the largest pumping chamber (left ventricle) of the heart is extremely small or nonexistent.  The condition is not curable but can made viable through a series of open heart surgeries that re-route all bloodflow through the remaining right ventricle. (This one usually pumps blood just to the lungs, at 5 times less pressure than is required for bloodflow through the body. So needless to say, putting the load of the entire body on it is a major overload, but the only option for survival.)  Jadrian was so weakened by the time he was diagnosed that it took a week for the surgeon to determine that he was strong enough to have good chance of surviving the first surgery.

(Sweet baby angel! It crushed us to see you like this!)

We were devastated and in a state of shock, while staying at the Ronald McDonald House 3 miles away, and needing to make decisions about how we wanted the Doctors to proceed.  

We can testify of how God carried us during this time!

  We very strongly wanted to give Jadrian every chance at life.

He was transferred to the University of Rochester Medical Center to have his first operation.  This is 3 hours away from our home, and we again lived at the Ronald McDonald house there.  His first surgery was successful, however his recovery was slow.  He was discharged after 2 months and came home at nearly his birth weight.  

Jadrian struggled to gain weight over the next 6 months, being too weak to nurse and almost too weak to digest his food, he vomited almost every hour throughout the day and night, as we worked around the clock feeding him and giving his 10 prescriptions which each had their own 2 or 3 hour schedule.

At 7 months old his second open heart surgery was done at Rochester.  This time he came home with at NG tube that we could pump formula into his stomach without using his energy to eat and swallow.  Because of the constant vomiting problem, he went into surgery just before his 1^st birthday to have a feeding tube placed directly into his small intestine through his stomach wall.  This allowed formula to be pumped continuously, bypassing his stomach, and allowed him to retain everything that we were feeding him.

We really enjoyed the summer of 2010 with him.  Although he couldn’t crawl, sit, or talk, he loved to by near us and was always VERY aware of what was going on around him.  We called them his ‘eagle eyes’ because he bright shining eyes were so alert, and many people commented on the depth and beauty they saw in them.

It was a pleasure to include him in all our daily activities. He loved being out doors!

Nothing brought him as much joy as being at home, in our arms! How we treasure the hours we spent rocking him. Praying over him.....and gazing into his innocent face. Speaking life over him.

His eyes lit up with Joy whenever we announced "Daddy's home!"

The day after Christmas 2010 we took Jadrian to Syracuse because he was fevering and having difficulty breathing.  He was very weak, and his heart stopped twice within the first 24 hours we were there.  No words can describe the agony & helplessness  of watching your child  surrounded by a trauma team doing CPR. We prayed... we hoped...we cried....

They were able to revive him, but it became painfully obvious that his heart was finished. His broken body was too tired to fight anymore. With tears, we held our little son and told him he can stop fighting now. We assured him over and over how much mommy & daddy loved him. How we wished he could stay with us forever, but we knew Jesus was waiting for him, we told him he was going to receive a brand new body. No more surgeries and no more IV's! We felt incredible comfort in knowing he would never suffer anymore!!

We sang....we cried....we snuggled ....kissed and stroked every inch of his sweet tiny body.  We felt his little heart beat grow weaker.

It was the most surreal, bitter sweet moment.

The hospital room became anointed with the presence of Jesus!! The same arms that were carrying us, were now coming to carry our son home. Complete surrender! Yes Jesus, we give him back to YOU!

December 27...a new angel in heaven. We will never forget that day. Or his life, and the huge imprint he left on our hearts.

It's been an honor fighting for you, and loving you, sweet son! You lived up to the meaning of your name "Rich, Warrior King".
                 Good by for now Buddy..................

If You could See Me Now

-

If you could see me now, you wouldn't shed a tear.

Though you may not understand why I'm no longer here.

Remember my spirit, that's the real me.

I'm still very much alive, oh, if you could only see!

I've beheld our Father's face. I've touched my Saviors hand.

The angels all rejoiced as I entered the Promised Land.

Beyond the gates of pearl, I walk on golden streets.

I've touched the walls of jasper, dipped my foot in the crystal sea.

The beauty is beyond words, nothing can compare.

I've even seen your mansion; someday I will meet you there.

Allow Jesus to be your guide, His Word will show the way. 

So, please, don't cry! We will meet again someday!