Remembering sweet Jadrian....

December 27 marked one year since the painful day we needed to say goodby to our beloved son and brother. How can it be a year already? Jadrian you are still so alive in our hearts and home that it really only feels like yesterday. We all miss you so much!







It all happened so fast....
When I see this picture it speaks of a thousand thoughts. Way too many to write, not that I even could put into words. They are very deep, private words to God.....the only one who understand when grief is too deep for words.
This picture also speaks of unconditional love, because thats what we felt for you Jadrian. A very deep protective, feirce kind of love. A love that hurts.















No parent ever wants to be told by the doctors that they have done everything possible for your child but there is nothing more they can do. we always knew Jadrian was in God's hands, but we have been forever grateful for the expertise of the skilled doctors that did so much for Jadrian. But they are only human...Today Jadrian needed something only God could give him. A new heart! We never could have imagined the pain of knowing we were needing to let go ..... we had cared for you 24/7. You were part of us, part of mommy & daddy and now it felt like part of us was being torn away. We never wanted to let go!!
But even in our terrible pain, Jesus was there! His presence carried mommy & daddy and He caught every tear and felt our pain. He gave us grace...He gave comfort...and a gave super natural peace. We knew Jesus was waiting to welcome you into His arms, and your tired worn body was going to be restored!
It was a sacred morning in that room. Mommy & Daddy held you for hours. We cried a lot. We sang to you and told you that it was OK, Jesus was waiting for you and He was going to give you a brand new body. No more doctors and IV pokes for you. We told you a hundred times over how much we loved you and how we would miss you.
We caressed & snuggled your warm body. treasuring every detail of your sweet body. Your blond hair that always wanted to stand up on top. Your chubby cheeks. Your hands..ah, those darling soft hands! we couldnt stop squeezing them.
We felt your heart beat become weaker and weaker. It was as if we could feel the angels in the room waiting to transport you to glory! You left this earthly world so peacefuly. Mommy & daddy were so honored to be holding you when Jesus took you from our arms into His. We can ONLY IMAGINE what that reunion was like!!
December 27, 2011 was a very hard dreary day for all of us. every thing felt sad and it was hard to choose joy. We all bundled up and spent some time at your grave. We watched all the home movies we have of you. We were amazed all over again what a warrior you really were! Today we choose to celebrate the time we had with you here and all the precious memories you left. And we celebrate your new body and JOY in heaven. See you soon buddy.

Karilee & Derek love visiting your grave! even though it was cold and frozen they ran around and found dead frozen flowers and pine needles to decorate with. Karilee took off her scarf and used it to make a ribbon.
Uncle Titus brought us this beautiful fruit boquet from him, Aunt Ruthie and Uncle Aarons. They probably have no idea how much it means to us to know they remembered! Thanks guys!
Uncle Reuben & Aunt Carmen brought us these lovely flowers and a very meaningful card where Carmen wrote a sweet memory of you. That ment so much to us!
Thankyou to everyone who remembered us with a phone call, text or prayer that day!


Life is changed.....not taken away.

Baby Blessings

Kianna at 3 wks old. We are so deeply in love with this little miss! I couldnt ask for a better baby, she's so happy and content. The only time she seems to ever fuss is between 9-12 at night. I wouldnt mind if she would go to sleep earlier, but then I really cant complain because once she does go to sleep around midnight she most times sleeps solid till around 5 -6 in the morning. None of my other babies slept that long when this young.
We are amazed every day at her brilliant health. She is SO pink and can even turn deep red! lol! She is already getting chubby and has a hearty appetite. We do not take her health for granted! It is such a gift, yet at the same time it hurts us all over to realize how very sick and fragile Jadrian was. He struggled for everything that comes so easy and natural for Kianna. I cant think about it too much because it seems so unfair. We loved him just the way he was. And today I would give anything to hold my sweet son again and see him smile into my eyes. How could one little person leave such a big hole. Our family still feels SO small without him!!
Yes, God knew our family needed the joy and comfort that a new baby brings. She is a heaven sent BLESSING!
Karilee keeps saying she wishes Jadrian could be here to see her. She said if only he could have lived till he was at least four so he could have gotten to know her Kianna too.

Yesterday Derek came to me and said, " I wish I could die right now so I could go to heaven and see Jadrian & Jesus." I asked him what he would say when he first see's Jesus.....
He dreamily replied: "I would say, I thought Id NEVER get to come to heaven!" A bit later he added, "I just cant imagine how BIG Jesus must be if he's bigger than a gorilla and daddy!" He had the sweetest, pure, amazed look it just melted my heart. He often wishes to die and at first it made me uncomfortable because of course I have no desire to give up another son but I have come to love his sweet innocence. He is so comfortable with the thought of dying and being with Jesus. he cant wait to see the beauties of heaven. I dont ever want to stifle that beautiful innocent heart of his!

Photo Card

Christmas Plaid Christmas

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Our Beautiful new treasure!!

Welcome to our home sweet daughter!!

Kianna Blessing, born November 21 weighing 8 lb 4 oz

More House Progress Pic's

Derek loves going to the job when Uncle Samuel is there. He keeps informing us he wants to be a carpenter when he grows up!

The children were burning trash.... and having fun with a cardboard roll that made the perfect smoke stack.

Steve & Shawn putting T-Veck back on the house after strong winds had blown the first batch off. We are finding that we built at a very windy location!

Insulation......

Elson doing some plumbing. ( I think! I dont know all the diff pipes apart! lol)

Installing doors and windows. So much fun watching those get put in!! Simon putting in the back patio door in the dining room.


Simon & Titus installing the small octagon window in the pantry.

Karilee looking out her bedroom dormer window. Looking towards the road....and all the dirt piles beside the lane.


A siding crew from Ohio .......now its really starting to look cozy! They do amazing work an dhad the house completly sided in a day and half!





We have been SO blessed with wonderfuly mild weather to get the house done on the inside. Windows & doors installed....siding on... now it can snow!

Doing school..... it's so much fun watching the children learn! Karilee catches on real well to phonics/ reading, but math comes a little harder. (Like her mommy)

Derek BEGS to do school too. Still trying to figure out what the best approach is in teaching him. Ive mostly been giving him preschool books and printing out worksheets from the computer.

Spending a beautiful fall lunchtime at the park by Jadrians grave. it was SO windy we could hardly keep our eyes open for the picture.
We are expecting Jadrians gravestone to be delivered anytime. REALLY hoping it comes before the snow flies! In the meantime, we have been so grateful for the lovely white cross that was hand engraved by Uncle Simon! It is really special to us and will become part of "Jadrians garden" that I want to put together on our property next summer.
Life has been super busy! Only 3 more weeks till we should get to meet our new daughter! we are all so excited for that! Of course I am hoping she will be early!

The house is coming along...... Steve's cousins, Jeff & Jim Weaver are here from OH doing the rough electric. They do wonderful work! I will try to get some updated pictures of the house on here soon.

A Tour of our New home under construction!

Always time for fun too! A unique way to see who's tallest.
View from behind the house. Master suite not roofed yet.
Steve helping with some framing. he enjoys when he gets a chance to work with his brothers, but it hasnt happened too often so far.
starting to take shape!
The children had sooo much fun playing on the dirt piles. And the fun is doubled when Uncle Sam plays too!
Masonry work was done by Ken Good. I remember Irvin & Aaron working for him!
Basement being dug by big brother Irvin. Derek enjoyed riding.

I thought some of you might enjoy seeing some of the progress so far! Im not very good at remembering to take pictures but this will give you an idea.